Discussion in 'Main Forum' started by Rebecca, Monday, July 25, 2011.
But today, women want more. So far, the pharmaceutical industry appears to be having little success with pills and patches to pep up a womans sex life and perhaps thats fortunate. Not that that has stopped them being sold over the internet in ways which are downright dangerous. I wonder how many thousands of other women fall prey to such potentially healthdamaging scams in a desperate bid to restore sexual sensation? And in any case, my libido had been in decline for years. Women today are in a terrible bind about the part that passion plays in their lives. Our heads tell us a degree of routine and lack of desire are bound to set in over the course of a long relationship; but in our hearts, we feel entitled to carry on feeling sexually satisfied into old age. And given that sexual attraction is what brings people together in the first place, its perhaps not surprising we have a deeprooted fear that when passion wanes, love will soon follow suit. Find out more. I really do think that in general men are attracted to women because of who they are whereas women are attracted to men because of what they can provide be this security or children. There will be exceptions of course however the fact that it is usually women that lose interest in physical intimacy is evidence of this. They can of course always blame it on their male partner as an easy cop out. I am childless without money troubles and until hormonal hell hit me my libido was fine. None of these issues will be resolved by a chemical compound. It saved their marriage. It was excruciating at first. We said things in front of the counsellor wed never dare to say in bed. We were set exercises involving touch but without sexual contact, and then went home to practise. Its great to have sex back on the menu as a pleasure rather than a chore. But a little of what you fancy does you good, even when youve been married as long as we have. Sexual passion is an important component of a relationship. To label women who dont feel the urge to have sex as sexually dysfunctional adds to their anxiety and quite often their shame. There are many causes of lack or loss of libido. From the tiredness that goes with having children to the dearth of privacy when teenagers are rampaging through the house. From medical conditions such as diabetes and cardiovascular disease to relationship problems and worries about money and work. For most modern women it's the lack of time and energy that moves sex down the list of priorities, not some kind of physical disorder. Yes these same "exhausted" women seem to have plenty of time and energy to go on a spending spree when there is a sale on at the shops. I include kissing and touching. I think it is accurate to say viagra drug manufacturer the women who have gone off sex have also gone off touching and kissing and similar intimacy. To thrive, it requires intimacy in and out of bed, as well as communication and a mutual acceptance that sometimes sex is the last thing on your mind. One thing it doesnt need is the interference of a cynical industry trying to turn the complex issue of desire into a moneyspinning, medical crisis. Why not debate this issue live on our message boards. The comments below have not been moderated. I've lost 3 stone since the breakup! Hurry while stocks last. Go jump in a lake! Out damned phone! Biologically we're driven to reproduce widely. So why the surprise if suppressing those biological drives leads to some sexual boredom? It doesn't have to mean the end of your relationship and it doesn't mean there's something weird about you. Maybe we all just need to stop obsessing so much about it! A multimillionpound industry is springing up to capitalise on these fears by holding out hope of a magic bullet that will keep us wanting sex 24/7. So we have come to fear loss of passion as we fear loss of youth. So, was my own loss of libido over 20 years an indication that there was something fundamentally clinically wrong with me? Or was it the relationship, as well as a myriad outside anxieties, that was to blame for my lack of desire? His anxieties will override the physiological problem if he doesnt feel like having sex. She discovers that, far from creating a drug that will tackle an existing problem, the pharmaceutical industry is trying to promote loss of libido as a disorder, purely to sell drugs. Either they are resigned and dejected, she says, or they say if they cant sort it out theyre going to ditch their partner and try to find someone who will thrill them. In the past, as women entered their 50s, 60s and beyond they might have said that their marriages were sexless but compatible. Theres nothing much wrong between us other than same old sex syndrome and knowing exactly what the next move will be. Drugs manufacturers are in a desperate race to discover a miracle pill that will restore female desire. And when it arrives, they are determined to have us clamouring for it like the latest antiwrinkle cream. But loss of desire is a symptom rather than the problem. No a pill didn't cure the problem but a combination of hormone gels put me back in charge of my life and libido again. It is not always domestic drudgery which causes low libido. Poor sexual response can happen through physical problems including thyroid issues, diabetes, side effect of anti depressants and menopause. We are no longer accepting comments on this article. Instead of regarding desire as part of the ebb and viagra drug manufacturer of relationships, were being conditioned to think one party not wanting sex is something that must be medically fixed. There seems to be an idea that viagra drug manufacturer impotence and socalled female sexual dysfunction are parallel. But how can you even begin to talk about sexual dysfunction in women, when no one has established what normal is? Whereas a mans physical desire is obvious, the way a woman responds to stimulation is more qualitative and depends on different stimuli including whether or not your partner appreciates the meal you just cooked or notices youve been to the hairdresser. Its not just sexual contentment that is at stake. When a woman senses she is not satisfying her partners needs, she has good reason to believe that hell seek his sexual pleasure elsewhere. The number of available, single women is growing and there are plenty of women already in relationships prepared to have casual sex with a married man, as even the most cursory glance at the internet dating or cybersex sites will tell you. And, of course, in our increasingly sexualised society, the pressure to be a domestic nymphette has never been greater.
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